The longest part of The Long Night was that panic-inducing, nail-biting, palm-sweating, 14-minute opening scene until the Army of the Dead extinguished the Dothraki in UNDER. A. MINUTE.

After that, it’s a bone-crushing, catastrophic clusterfuck for all. Thank the Lord of Light for Arya. My new Monday get-hype motto is going to be, “Stick ‘em with the pointy end.” Speaking of ends, a handful of third-tier protagonists, one sidekick and a big bad meet the God of Death.