People talk all the time about living a balanced life, but what do they mean? What do we mean when we say we’re trying to balance our lives? Some mean they are working on work/life balance, a seemingly elusive goal. On the hunt for how to organize their lives, it seems most moms are looking for some secret formula to make juggling our many responsibilities possible – and maybe even equitable.

Inside Simply Convivial Membership this month, we’re talking about finding a balanced life. What does it mean? Should we be seeking it? How? What can we do to stop feeling like we’re scrambling and missing important pieces of home and time management? In our Convivial Circle monthly topic chat channel, a few of our members offered helpful analogies for balance:

I think some people have the idea that with balance you can do anything. If you just learn how to balance it all correctly, then it will all work out… sort of like a waiter balancing a huge tray of food. Not that I never fall into that view/trap, but it’s probably better to think of balance as scales, where we realize we only have control over one side, and if we put too much on “our” side, then we’ll be out of wack no matter how much creative arranging we try to do with our over-full side.StefaniSimply Convivial Community ManagerI always think of a gymnast on a balance beam. It takes incredible skill, concentration and practice to balance. It isn’t something you achieve but requires constant effort and practice to acquire the skill. It seems as though the world tries to elevate the idea that if we could achieve balance our life would be easy, simple and good. It seems like a newer version of “having it all”. The “promise” of ‘You can have it all, if you just find balance.’AbbySimply Convivial Member

The hunt for a balanced life

Balance.

The dictionary defines the verb to balance as “to keep or put something in a steady position so that it does not fall” or “to offset or compare the value of one thing with another”

The first definition is the one we usually mean when we talk about achieving balance in our lives. We want to be steady, regular, diligent, consistent. We hate feeling like we’re scrambling, dropping the ball, and never getting to what matters. So we think that balance is the answer.

But what is that something that we’re putting in a steady position so it doesn’t fall? Is it our to-do list? Is it our various roles and responsibilities? Is it our attitude? Or is it C – all of the above?

In seeking the first definition of balance, we often settle for the second, which basically means we make trade-offs and hope everything will come out even in the end. We didn’t get to the laundry, but the schoolwork was done. We didn’t mop, but we did get dinner on the table. Does the value of what was done make up for what doesn’t?

Sure, we want all of the things done so that we never have to make trade-offs like that, but it’s just not going to happen in this life. It’s an idealistic dream. We can continue honing our skills and getting better at what we do. We can expand our capacity and align our expectations. But we will always be making trade-offs. We just need to make sure those trade-offs are done in favor of the work with ultimate value.

And, if we’re going to keep anything in a steady position...