Episode 62
Finding Hope Through Fitness

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Description

This is such an exciting episode with two special guests, Nick Wells from Redemption Road Crossfit, and Dan Hugill who is now Peaks Recovery’s Activities Director. These two humble men tell their inspiring stories of overcoming addiction, the prison system, and difficult life challenges. They share how they both found purpose within the fitness and Crossfit world helping other struggling individuals change their lives for the better.

Talking Points

1. Dan and Nick’s story of overcoming addiction and the legal system
   
2. What is the recipe of success
   
3. Overcoming shame
   

Quotes

“I had to learn how to love myself before I could ever give back to somebody else.”

– Nick Wells from Redemption Road Crossfit

Episode Transcripts

Episode 62 Transcripts

hey everybody and welcome to another amazing episode of finding peaks we have my grateful re recovering co-host jason friesma grateful to have him here i am really really excited for the show today a little bit different chief clinical officer i’m here with our friends dan hugh hill who i believe is our peaks recovery first ever activities director so grateful to have dan on board and we got nick wells here with redemption road crossfit grateful to have him on but more than anything we have amazing professionals but you know what i do i bring on even better humans so we’re so grateful here to have an hour to talk about american politics no i’m just kidding

really looking forward to talking about recovery talking about how these men right here work with people both incarcerated and out in the community and helping people transition and integrate into the community and change their lives one day at a time and we just had the pleasure of sitting here for the last 15 minutes really talking to nick and chatting with dan about the work that they’re doing and so i really want to kick it over to them and have them tell you a little bit about their story in the hope that we have not only for community integration but just for people in the early stages of recovery finding fitness finding connection and finding these gentlemen and so we’re just going to get it going i’m going to start with dan dan maybe just introduce yourself dan was a former employee of peaks recovery a few years back and he went over to the phoenix multi-sport and non-profit recovery fitness program here in town which is a really great operation and he spent some time there and over the last couple of months we’re grateful to get him back at peak’s recovery back home with us but i want to turn it over to dan and just talk a little bit about maybe where you started your recovery um you know your peaks experience the phoenix and kind of where we’re at today cool awesome chris thank you bro yeah thank you it’s a pleasure to be here yeah so um i’m dan hugel i was uh my so my recovery experience uh i it july 23rd i’ll have eight years completely sober completely clean uh yeah like when i first got sober um it was actually um i was on the run i had i here in colorado springs i had seven was out on seven felony warrants for like distribution manufacturing methamphetamine robbery he was on the news for armed robbery in 2014. didn’t actually go down that way but i won’t get into that whole story right now it’s actually not what happened

the bounty hunters ended up getting me in 2014 on july 23rd i got a phone call my mom my parents were watching my two dogs but they wouldn’t let me stay with them because you know i was my life was significantly unmanageable yeah and so i get a phone call in the morning and she’s like hey your dogs are gone and i’m like oh so i’m like i’m just waking up you know at this point i’m drinking so bad that like i’m detaining so like and i was an iv user so i had to drink to stop to shake so that i could use and then like i was just sweating it was like middle of july like 95 degrees i’d have been sweating at 20 degrees yeah and i remember i got dropped off down the alley in my parents house because i was like i’m gonna find my dogs i love my dogs they’re still having the two pit bulls and i’m walking up the alley and i’m using my cute voice i’m like toba hammer where are you and i was like well maybe they found them so it’s so hot outside it’s so hot and like i was very athletic prior to this and in my mind i still wasn’t momentarily i was i would come to realize how deconditioned i had actually become from 14 years of just crazy drug and alcohol use so i go walking in the back door going up the alley and i go into my parents house and then standing at the front door the bounty hunters stephen and will and i’m actually friends with them yeah so i yelled some profanities i went hop in the fence and uh i ran and uh this is when i realized how deep conditioned i was two 300 meters i was just like i have to figure something out because this dude’s on my heels went to jump the fence fell bleeding everywhere and um ended up going to jail and they finally had enough like they had they put a bunch of holds on me they’re like absolutely not like we’re not letting you out this time then i ended up you know this is where i first had my like come back to like my spiritual path and i got sober long enough to like realize like i’m for sure going to prison and like now it’s like what can i do to lessen the blow of that what can i do like to like get my life together so like i had kind of like a what we could call kind of like a spiritual slap in the face while i was in the county jail and i ended up doing a 30-day inpatient treatment at parker valley hospital that’s right yeah which was great yeah shout out to robert yeah yeah

yeah but uh so like i did all this all these things you know i started getting really involved with 12 step and uh still on um they gave me my my offer was if i take it to trial you’re looking at like 42 to 48 years and like there’s no way i’m gonna beat that there’s absolutely no way so i took an open plea and then december 14th 2000 december 15 2014 i got sentenced to 12 years in the department of corrections and uh you know it was a little bit shocking i was just like ooh all right and then you know went in through the like you know the whole like you know you’ve been through on transport going to sell house five there’s a little pull-up bar i could do three pull-ups and i used to be so athletic i was just like oh yeah so um this is where i started really decided i’m gonna start getting back into like my fitness whatever that looks like i ended up ended up at bent county correctional facility and uh i started working out a lot i remember my first hundred burpees like like the first five i was like i got this and then by 49 i was like i’m just making it to halfway it was a mind battle and i got through it and then something happened with that where i just i felt good and i was like i’m gonna keep doing this so we started doing like crossfit yard crossfit there was a guy in there that he uh he did crossfit when he was on the streets and he kind of brought like the version of programming that he knew how to do so like this is where crosstalk was one of the big things that saved my life and i’m not going to let nick talk here in a minute about rf2 and redemption row crossfit because i wish i had something like that in there yeah amazing program yeah but uh yeah so i started doing crossfit and uh i didn’t join a gang didn’t do anything like that just went to like church 12-step meetings in there and i ended up uh in march 2016. i did about almost a year and a half they brought me back and they reconsidered my sentence and they released me into a specialty drug court program and at this point this is where i found the phoenix like 48 hours sobriety you can go and you can do crossfit it’s free yeah i was on that i latched on to that and then at that time that’s where i met you and you were the first person in that heels court right uh i was the first person i was the first person to be to be brought back to be like brought from prison okay okay like that was kind of an experiment okay cool yeah and i like smashed through the program i crushed that the heels are very grateful for to them yeah that’s that’s where i found phoenix and then i was landscaped for two months and that fell through and then uh that’s where i came in and i met everybody at peaks and i started off as a house manager for almost two years and so like like big shout out like i love peaks loved it then love it now um it you guys gave me the opportunity and i say us and it’s like we now but like you yeah you know what i mean yeah gave me the opportunity to get my foot in the door to be in the recovery community help me get certified as a you know peer recovery coach and then from there you know i remember when we transitioned you had that little party for me when i transitioned to the phoenix and it was great i was you know the program coordinator at the phoenix i was an instructor for a few years and i became the program coordinator for colorado springs and then was also the liaison for colorado for everything we do with department of corrections so um last year uh at wodfest is actually when i met nick and in 2019 when i found the rf2 the redemption no crossfit program i went into fremont correctional facility so i met trevor jones yeah i met trevor and i walked in there because i worked out in prison and i knew about all the politics from experiencing it personally and i walked in and there’s something what i saw was you have different gangs different races different cases all working out together i was like there’s something to this yeah so like i started trying to get involved and then you know look like covey couldn’t go and do anything like that and then started to get more back involved that’s where i met nick at the wad fest and it was great um did you cool if i tell them about the watch look at the waterfalls blew my mind so it was they had was it 15 people from from inside the facility and they brought 50 was 30 all 30 total uh i think it was yeah 15 or 20. yeah 15 or 20 of us uh two or three from each facility yeah that’s cool that has the program we all came we were paired up with volunteers from the street yeah yeah that’s where it is shirt like like you got the cool shirt that’s a participant shirt that’s got a volunteer shirt it’s almost it’s like white yeah like the dark yeah of course it’s cool though so that’s where i uh that they had the competition in there and it was at the denver women’s facility and they brought people from all over the facilities matt frazier showed up wow yeah people were hanging out with matt frazier big picture with nick yeah like it was it was powerful like seeing that it was so igniting that’s where i started to get more involved with going back into the prisons and started like really wanting to get involved with redemption road crossfit and like a few of the other ones and um so nowadays i just this is my first like i guess my second technically kind of week back at peace yeah and i’m just really excited to be back i can’t wait we’re unrolling all kinds of fitness and activity into the curriculum and like i’m just so excited and we’re about to unleash this all next week and get it started and uh that’s that’s in a nutshell like what i’ve been through where i’m at today you know since then i got i’m married i have a kid i have a my boy asher who’s almost three and i adore him you know what i mean bro you know yeah they don’t have a little daughter who’s nine months old she’ll be one in september and uh and my wife like my life has changed drastically from where it was back when i was running amok on the streets yeah i love that man and i thank you for checking in and sharing so vulnerably with us and i think it’s important to point out for the viewers that i never knew dan before he got into recovery and dan is one of the most compassionate kind empathetic caring people i have ever met and so that i think that just goes to show when we’re out there coping with substances because that’s what we’re doing there is most certainly an undertow of which we’re coping from and is informing those behaviors because i never met that person that he describes in the past in fact i met somebody much different and i met somebody and who in my experience in my opinion is in the true genuine and authentic version of himself and that’s why he’s thriving in this world so i really appreciate you man i think sometimes when people hear prison sometimes they hear violence they hear stuff they’re like whoa i can’t relate when in fact i think we can all relate just a little bit and yours truly president and founder i was lucky to not have gone into the department of corrections god spared my life and i marched off into recovery but it could have easily been that way and i just want people to hear and see very drastically that there is hope there is change and it’s sitting right in front of me today so absolutely yeah so i appreciate that brother i want to turn it over to nick i got the chance to meet nick about 45 minutes ago and we were actually mid conversation and the show started so i want to pick up and allow nick to introduce himself tell a little bit about his story as well uh my name is nick wells i’m super happy to be here um i met dan like you said at wadfest uh last july um and it was it was a pivotal moment in my life there was things happening in my life at that time that was unbelievable like you said god stepped in and saved your life god stepped in and saved my life uh a couple blocks from here in 2008 and i had a little standoff with the police they called it a standoff i was just trying to get my stuff together i was just trying to get some food man you know i was trying to get my stuff together i came out i surrendered anyways it changed my life that day that was uh you know 14 years ago and uh but what got me there was drug abuse right um at an early age i found methamphetamines you’re not supposed to be doing methamphetamines ever let alone a 14 year old kid yep and then a 14 year old kid that thought he was a drug dealer you know and then to fuel that drug habit i i resorted to crime because your mom’s not going to give you money for drugs right and so exactly so and so i spent 14 years of my life getting it all wrong drugs in and out of jail um horrible relationships horrible uh you know just one thing after another right uh walking different than what i was called right and uh that day’s changed my life right i went by there the first day i got out just just to see full circle it’s literally like three blocks from here um but in that process uh you know you do a lot of self-reflection a lot of self-reflection so i i was a drug addict i go to jail um you know there was gangs and violence um you know i was selling drugs i was in that world so i knew a lot of people you know so i get you know fast forward like dan you know like before it was you get out of prison you get out you get in trouble you get out you know what i mean you go to probation you get out you know what i mean you’re doing things this time they’re like absolutely not yeah you’re not good we’re done with you yeah uh we’re absolutely done i had 103 felonies out of douglas county like 60 out of colorado springs and they’re like you’re not getting a plea bargain yeah plea bargains aren’t an option matter of fact you’re everything but a plea bargain right and i was like man and so i ate my i ate myself i being an addict i ate myself i found myself 400 pounds right i was 400 pounds trying to figure out life and uh a friend of mine oh he’s just like man what is wrong with you you know and my life changed like i i already knew i was about to i was like this ends today no more you know there’s a funny story that goes on i’m not going to get the butt right now i started telling you guys earlier um but it you know it’s a pivotal moment in my life where i was like i’m going to do something different and then i showed up to the lyman correctional facility and the gangs were like hey you know what’s up you know what i mean you got all your whole life in prison i was like yeah i’m gonna die here but i’m not doing that wow i’m gonna i’m gonna set a new road and whatever the consequences so be it right and so you know i was kind of straddling the fence being cool with the guys you know i didn’t want to get like you know jumped every day for sure but at the same time i did i know i didn’t want to be a part of that and i met this guy damian arguelle who’s the co-founder of rf2 and uh changed my life forever you know when i met him you know i knew him but we were just kind of i was just just you know passing we worked together in the laundry but one day he was doing thrusters and i was like that looks cool i went over there to see him and i was like hey what are you doing man and he was like i’m gonna do 50 thrusters for time are you in and i was like well i don’t know what a thruster is and so he had 95 pounds on the bar and his metal weight we didn’t have any rubber you know and so i i do the most miserable thrusters it’s ever seen right like front squats i’m all on my toes my elbows are down hunched over and i’m like trying to get that 95 pounds above my head and it was miserable and i get it up there and i just dropped the weight from the top right which is like a taboo send it yeah what are you doing bro like bing bang bang and all these guys that have been down for like 100 years are like hey brother don’t do that that’s what i’m saying really and then damian’s like oh man you know and he’s i can see the look on his face like really but at the same time he’s super happy and yeah he’s like what do you think i was like well i only got 49 more you know what i mean and he was like man i found my workout partner for life and that dude helped me change my life wow and we just started grinding grinding grinding and i have my poor mom i’m like hey go to crossfit.com she’s like what what’s a wad you know and so like we said they’re doing things and uh you know what we saw was that it started out with two of us we were doing crossfit 2012 to 2017. it was two like two more people would come two more people would come two more people would come and then um brandon cruiser and damian aguero had the bright idea of making it into a program i was a naysayer at first and i was like there’s no way there’s no way they’re gonna give us a program but if they do i’m there right right yeah first day i’m there boom yeah hey i love this uh then they’re like hey we’re gonna get certified i was like yeah right yeah and then crossfield comes in got my level one and i was like man it was like you know for coming from a background of doing absolutely nothing with my life you know and you know i’m not trying to burn myself down but at the end of the day i look back at my life and i’m like i really didn’t do much you know what i mean uh drugs cost me my son a a relationship that i love dearly with a woman that i’m actually back with now which is wow you know my high school girlfriend um you know it ruined a lot of things in my life just because i couldn’t stop the drugs and so then i was like man we’re doing something different and that level one certificate like i was like man i can i can succeed in this and then not only i can succeed i started seeing the guys around me and the 30 members that are in our program that were relying on us every single day to get coached up to get mentored and it was so much more than just you know wads right it was hey we’re here i’m here for you 24 hours a day you know what i mean which then i got my pure assistant training and so i was using that as a platform like hey if you after the workout if you’re still going through it just give me a call i don’t care if it’s two in the morning i don’t care if it’s like whatever there was one guy in particular my friend loco he’s local for a reason he’s a crazy ass [ __ ] guy um doesn’t get along with anybody we’ll fight anybody but he’s sitting there working out with these men that no right that [ __ ] those two like a white supremacist enemy right yeah they shouldn’t be working out together but they were and they love each other and they were just grinding and he was trying to get sober and the other guy’s trying to get him silver and they’re like we could do it together right you know and i would go over there and his homies like to give him the drugs before he locked down right he’s like all right so i would go over there a few minutes before nine right he’d call me over on a peer assistant i’d sit in the classroom and talk to him for a half hour which is a few minutes past lockdown and then so by the time he went back in the unit everybody else is locked down he could just go straight to his room and go to sleep yeah i didn’t have to think we did that for like months to try to get him sober and it worked you know and i was like man this is great but anyways so when we got our level twos i met nicole uh changed my life nicole gordon is just a beautiful woman she’s just an amazing human being like probably the best human being i’ve ever met um and so yeah we went from there and we expanded like he said he was at fremont with my friend trevor jones uh we expanded to four facilities wow in colorado in colorado we went from we started at lyman then i went to fremont um into arkansas valley to sterling and now we’re in nine we’re four official affiliates nine nine nine uh satellite uh well nine nine facilities in total uh the director wants it in all 18 facilities uh two women’s both the women’s facilities have it and we have 2 000 active participants with 70 people that have certified certificates through crossfit that’s certain 70 people that are hireable the second they walk out and then we have our non-profit which uh nicole quit crossfit to work with our non-profit not full-time and so we’ve been doing transition um anyways all that work uh i want to tell the story because i’d be a miss if i did not in 2019 we put on the very first competition ever inside prison ever anywhere anywhere ever heard of there was first for everything first crossfit program in prison official first time for people to get level ones i was there first time level two was their uh night 2019 december uh we um we put on the first ever competition and we brought 30 people from the street to be paired up with 30 of us yeah and so with that i met this lady violet i was randomly paired up with violeta chapin it was my partner we ended up taking first place that day um and then about a week later she called my case manager and said hey i have it on my heart to get you out of prison wow i’m an attorney that’s what i was gonna ask how did you get out yeah so uh that’s it like um she she works for the university of colorado um law school she’s a professor and she got her students involved and we wrote a clemency petition she happens to know every single person under the sun and you know i put in a lot of hard work like what i was doing with crossfit what my friends were doing like it wasn’t unnoticed and it’s contrary to like the prison norm yeah and so like they keep on telling me like no you did it and i’m like well you helped me you know like they all they did was the legal stuff right but they’re beautiful people i had three students that i talked to every single day on the phone for like four months i talked to via letter constantly and we petitioned the governor and then ben i met uh from wod prep uh but i can’t pronounce his last name and i’m not even gonna try it but it is it’s what preps his company he put me on his website saying hey this is a crossfitter and this is what he’s done with his life don’t take my word for it redisclaimancy petition and if you if you agree go ahead and click this link to the governor’s office and so they people did it generated like 200 emails wow people from australia like hey do i have to become a citizen to do this and like that’s pretty cool by telling me hey i want you out don’t worry about your community i know you built a strong community inside but there’s a community out here waiting for you and i was just like man and then the owner of crossfit eric rosa did the same thing put me on the morning chalk up with the same link they they did their variation of story i got to meet him in august of last year uh and he was just like look we got you and then what i was doing with the fast program which is fitness and sobriety training is basically like what the phoenix was up to like hey just get sober and i know fitness is a platform and not only are we going to get you sober we’re going to get you being a better person and we’re going to try to get you just so my that shifted my whole focus onto like okay i’m in a place where my sobriety is great august 11th will be 14 years and i’m just super excited that’s cool right let’s go summer birthdays man but i felt like i was in a place where i can take this knowledge and help others yeah because my life has changed drastically through the men and women that were around me and believing in me and showing me something different through fitness through mentorship accountability really yeah you know like i was messed up a little bit right like doing like you know gambling or something my buddy damian would be like hey really right that’s really what you want to do yeah you know this is really what’s going to further your you know yeah you know further you in life and i think you’re right yeah and it’s those that accountability that we saw that these gang members inside prison these drug addicts wanted they thrive for it they want to be told they want to be corrected yeah the problem is there’s no one’s correcting me like you’re not the man and there’s people not building trusting relationships like you are too which is really important because you go in there you foster the trust and then they’re like show me the way yeah you know and they they like it they see what you’re doing they want something they want something different in their life and they see that you’ve changed you see where you’ve came from and then they’re like okay well i want that too yeah how do i get there help me yeah and then when that people are like hey help me like i’m all in i’m like hey look and then the guys that aren’t like help me but you can tell they want it those are the ones i i’m all the time i’ll just go over like hey what’s up yeah how are you i’ll be the person yeah i’m that guy and so now with being free i got clemency uh the governor gave me in december uh but they made me go through the parole process still so like now you’re eligible for parole yeah that’s right so instead of being pro-eligible 10 years later later right so i had 60-year sentence for all that stuff i did and then i went back to court in 2018 got it down to a 48. wow and i was like oh man i could do this i could see the light yeah and before i thought i was gonna die in prison i was solely happy right i was like okay this is my life i’m gonna make the best of it and then in 2018 i was like oh wait i’m just gonna be old but i’m gonna get out yeah and then when i met violetta and i started doing these things and i was like wait a minute there’s hope and i i knew instantly like the beliefs that she had and me and when nicole and nicole was just like called me as soon as you get out and i was like that’s like 40 years from now but i’ll call you yeah give you a shout out don’t change your number and then yeah and then it just happened to be three years later that i’m like hey i’m getting out that’s why so i got out may 10th um hit up dan immediately dan and nicole are my two friends and i go work out with them um we uh go to church together we go work out cool man you know i went and met you guys like like literally like the second day i was out yeah i think it was like either day one or day two days that’s cool man that’s recovery you’re like come with me yeah so he was like hey you gotta meet these guys at peak and uh we met brandon yeah on vacation yeah uh which is cool yeah and uh had a great conversation with brandon i just was like man and what i want to do with my life is get people sober yeah through fitness fitness is a platform fitness is an avenue it’s a side effect you’re starting looking good right i lost 200 pounds doing it and i see the results in people and people feel good about themselves and they’re thinking about like hey what what are you going to put inside your body like am i going to eat this sugar i want a crumble cookie yesterday probably the best thing i’ve ever had i know right man i was addicted that was a problem i was getting them delivered my my friend bought me all these because she’s like hey you need every one of them yes really i’m something like this and i took a bite of one i was like oh my gosh yeah and so i ate one cookie and then a buddy of mine had just got out he was in waiting for the abs uh uh parade up and yeah i heard the kids in the background i was like perfect so i met him and his wife and his kids and i was like hey kids i got something for you these are delicious cookies because i can’t do them yeah because i think about those things now am i am i consuming the right things for my body yeah is it going to propel me better right but like i was telling you earlier like it all comes down to that stimulus pause response there’s a freedom of choice in the middle and i believe that you can change your life with that model yeah and it doesn’t just apply to like you know fancy help self-help books or anything else it’s like okay this is what’s going to react to me and how am i going to react to it yeah that’s what i was going to ask you to like me what do you think it takes to change your life but i think you guys have really illustrated it and explained it quite brilliantly it’s like it’s important for people in this world to have identity and purpose and that’s what you explain so well that like out of every corner through this crossfit stuff was another piece of purpose another piece of identity and um i guess i’ll kick it over to you dan what do you think is the recipe for people transitioning and even people out here in the community of which you’ve worked for the last few years of what is the recipe for success and i love the simplicity of using fitness as a platform because fitness i think speaks to most people absolutely yeah like like you’re saying like like getting back out from prison i think that fitness is huge obviously like for me when i got out i found the phoenix it was huge it was something i already knew and i was comfortable with so now it’s something i can latch on to when i get out of here and one of the really big important things i found with that that just came along was the community yeah it was the connection so now i have all these people that believe in me and they’re connected and i didn’t even like intentionally i wasn’t like oh i’m gonna go find a community it just kind of happened organically so it was beautiful and then like that’s like kind of one of the things i really try to do now is when people are getting out like i was i was the crossfit coach for parole for like two years so i know a lot of them so like i like to help write parole plans or like i love melissa barnett up there like uh she’s with the re-entry special i’ll go in and meet him with her and i just try to go in and help and like write out like you have they have a support if they are released to colorado springs you just like and then you have like a little things like transportation and work and just trying to help problems meeting those primal needs yeah yeah help with those that’s cool man i i love the support and what is it like for you jason because jason’s been a clinician in colorado springs for eons right since the 19th century um he’s been out here working moving and grooving and he’s worked with a lot of people that don’t have the story you do don’t have the reintegration story and quite frankly the story that you just told and dan’s story is like that’s the first one i’ve ever heard like that um and i want to hear more of them and it says there’s hope but what is it like for a clinician because oftentimes you don’t hear stuff like this i mean great question first i want to acknowledge like um that i brought my dad bond today and uh you guys are so fit he’s dad man yeah but check this out it doesn’t matter he was in my gym 6 45 this morning he’s been there for the last six months so let’s go in there yeah i like to say i’m trying to turn my dad bought into a father figure

father figure yeah but but in all seriousness like what i hear like i love that you brought up the community piece because i think um like the fitness is the platform but it seems like it’s the platform for community but i i wanted to ask you guys like um obviously people coming out of prison can carry a lot of shame for what brought them in there and like it can be hard to kind of reintegrate into the into the world and then people can carry a lot of shame about like not being in shape or not taking care of their body and how do you guys how do you guys meet people where they are as far as that shame well you want to go no you go for it so i’m told every day i need to forgive myself first right yeah uh there’s things like you know i just went visited friends who have like a boat and a house and you know beautiful family and kids we all went to high school together right my girlfriend has a beautiful family kids house and i’m like here i am 42 years old you know what i mean just got my driver’s license i’m by texting people pictures of it i’m like that he’s like check a friend of mine uh from prison actually gave me a card so i can use and uh you know i mean i but i feel like sometimes i feel shame i’m like man i’m 42 years old like this is the stuff i’m supposed to be doing i’m 19. and then my lady’s like hey forgive yourself uh find that you need to forgive yourself before you can even move on and i realized that like i had to love myself before i can ever get back to somebody else and that’s what like the process took for me so there’s a lot of shame yeah there’s a lot of guilt right like i look at my mom and i’m like hey look i’m really sorry i put you through all that right i’m not only sorry for the 14 years i was in prison and having to come visit me there but i’m sorry for the 14 years i was a dirtbag right addicted to drugs and just doing the wrong things and so that that weighs heavy on my heart like almost at all times like people say oh you got to forgive yourself like cool but it’s still there yeah and that shame and that uh like you know embarrassment almost is enough to like seclude yourself ins like you know get into your your own feelings and that can lead down a path where like i’m just gonna this is what i know this is all i’m gonna do best right and so for me when i see that in people and i see that they’re getting into those spots because i’ve been there you can’t let that rabbit hole go down too far because that’s where you spin off into relapse and you spin off into the old habits because it’s so easy to go on that easy road right but when there’s a mountain in front of you you want to go fast up a mountain faster right it’s hard it’s hard work but you can do it so when i see that i notice that i tell people like hey i went to see my friend mary yesterday she’s struggling and i’m like don’t don’t not be ashamed to pick up that phone if you’re struggling call me i don’t care day or night call me because your sobriety and your freedom is the most important thing to me and so with the transition line and people that are coming out of prison to know that there’s people that have been there before you like dan like i rely on dan like hey what do i do about this what about my parole officer what about this right and i have a friend named eric i text him like at five in the morning like am i doing this right dude it’s 5 a.m yeah come on man i haven’t had a coffee yet i’ve already worked out what are you doing

so but they were there for me dan’s there for me nicole’s there from there they’ve never said like oh hey i don’t got time for that right now and that’s what people like i feel need but here like hey no i’ve been there i’m keeping you please do it and get out of your head get out of your head because you’re doing great the reassurance that you are doing good and life is going to be hard my cell phone was the hardest thing i’ve ever figured out before you just flipped it open dialed a number oh this is great now i’m talking to my watch

everything has a passcode and i’m like what are my passwords so i got this note on my phone if i can get into it it has my passwords right because everybody wants a different password and i’m like worried about russian hackers and stuff yeah i’m just like okay get off the news okay no news news is not good but people walk me through it hey i like it figure it out yeah you know what i mean and so i think that’s the biggest thing yeah i mean having somebody meet you where you’re at communication you’re not alone and there’s people out there that maybe they haven’t shared experiences they haven’t shared prison uh but they’ve shared life yeah they’ve had real life problems you know uh while i was getting it all wrong i had these problems that are so dramatic you know people lose childs they you know like my girlfriend lost her child in a car accident i can’t imagine what that feels like i can’t imagine what people’s lives are like when they lose their house you know what i mean when the when the housing market falls what do you do do you do you do you go into uh uh addiction and that way or do you ask for help and you just i mean communication is key yeah community communication i love that man because what you highlighted right there is it’s like a tremendous amount of vulnerability and humility with people you trust yeah just ask for help pick up the phone yeah you don’t have to know him super well yeah right uh you just need to be able to say hey like i need help yeah and having that voice yeah speak up it’s really cool man how wild is it just be sitting here in front of these lights man you were just like days ago man and but it almost feels like man you’ve been preparing for this moment for a decade yeah for sure you know i think that uh i honestly think i have like um i never like you know when i there was a time when i was like i’m gonna die here in prison right and i was like all right okay this is it okay i can make good with this yeah i have a phrase like you’ve made your bed right i love that i tell people all the time like well he’s like oh man i got in trouble oh he made your bed like you shouldn’t have got up right that’s the thing right you make your bed every day yeah it’s either you get into a messy better you make it one of the two right and so it’s one of my favorite things so i always told myself that this is your lot you you chose this for yourself you worked hard for yeah you didn’t just didn’t just hand it to you i didn’t get screwed over right like i worked really hard for them to say hey look dude that’s enough really hard and they they did it they scared me they said hey look you’re going to prison for life basically for theft and i’m like okay i get it yeah it’s so interesting you say that it’s we say we had a client one of my favorite people that’s ever come through this program and i won’t mention her name but she had a a tattoo on her wrist that said it’s not about the dishes right because we’re always like dishes make your bad dishes make your bed new behaviors new rituals dishes make your bed rinse wash repeat it’s not about the dishes man it’s about you right to make your bed yeah i love that man that is so cool man well we are about 12 minutes over um i knew we were gonna do that yeah but it just really nice having you guys on here i’m really hopeful that we can get this episode out the people that really need it and i love that we have people in our community that are finding it necessary today to not be good for others but to be great and i think it goes a long way in showing people what this looks like and not necessarily telling them and then when they ask they’re all in and so you guys are just a great example of what recovery looks like thank you guys so much for coming on the show dan so grateful to have you back at peaks thank you i mean we are we are a better company um with you got with you on board and a better community with you out here in it last question um what does the future look like for you nick um recovery recovery uh getting involved um i’m currently uh studying for my level three crossfit oh cool trying to get farther than you can take out my plan is to take it like next month whether it’s or fail i wanna take it just jump in there um i’ve i’ve passed all the other tests i know the material i’m working at two different gyms right now um i love it my my future i went to florida uh they’re talking about the va hospital down there wants a functional fitness program to help uh veterans with ptsd um i know that i would like to own my own gym one day but i also like to be able to give back to people that are struggling so get a gym do similar things like hey sobriety come on in yeah you know work closely with the organizations that need uh that were just about recovery yeah if i can give back uh i don’t need to make a million dollars i just need to i to me i would like to just give back and uh that’s what i’m trying to do right now and that’s what i’m getting married have a family i love that man you got a really a real purpose-driven life today yeah um and don’t for one second forget absolute miracle yeah i mean just right here right now we are living within the miracle and i hope that we can celebrate that today special every day yeah really cool so thanks jason thanks dan thanks nick until next time your grateful recovering president and founder where i bring on amazing professionals and even better humans you got to meet them today thank you so much find us on your podcast instagram took talk tick tock brand ambassador until next time