Mindset for Life

Mindset for Life


#41: Mindset for Advocacy, or, to “Toot Your Own Horn”

August 24, 2020

Have a Mindset to Advocate for yourself, or in other Words,  “Toot Your Own Horn”
Have you ever wondered how to advocate for your best traits, or "toot your own horn?" Sharing what you're good at takes a courageous, confident mindset.

I’ve coached a lot of individuals from all walks of life and career areas who wanted more confidence. That isn’t what they said when they asked to be coached. But it was what they were seeking.
What Do People Want?
At first, we want to figure out how to be happier at work. Or, we want to know what to do to grow a coaching business the "right way." Or we are senior directors in the corporate world and in other leadership roles/ And, we want to learn how to navigate challenging managers, co-workers, or situations.

In several cases, we gain confidence pretty quickly. But, as we begin taking actions consistent with our decisions, we second-guess things ant stop again.  And we are back at the place of feeling stuck. We wait for someone outside ourselves to approve, guide us, or give us confidence.

In all of these circumstances, many individuals I have coached had an unclear idea of who they really were. And, their sense of control was focused on things outside themselves, rather than what was inside them.

For each of these people, this feeling was frustrating. It is something I call “being stuck.”
What Does it Mean to Be Stuck?
When we are stuck, the way forward is unclear. It seems impossible to know what the “right” answers are. Possibilities are limited.

There is drama, and things feel heavy.

We may also feel isolated—like we’re on our own to figure things out with no good ideas about how to do that.

This stuck feeling stays with us, from work to personal life. We believe that if we just put in more time and effort, we’ll magically become free and resolve this problem.

And sometimes we do.

But it comes back again, and we’re waiting again for the right people, resources, and solutions to help us get unstuck again.
What Would Help Build Confidence?
What we usually want is an internal compass that makes sense to us.

We want to take action without waiting for the right answer from someone else. And, we want to trust our own instincts and thoughts.

Basically, we are were looking for confidence and clarity.

Many of the people I've coached have wanted what we all want. To know who we are, know that we are enough, and know that we matter.
What Do We Lose if We Don't Adopt a Confident Mindset?
When we’re not sure about who we really are, we can never become the best version of ourselves.

We question everything.

And, we take longer to do things because we’re always looking outside ourselves for the answers.

Ultimately, we wait for someone to tell us that we’re on the right track. Or that we are enough and will succeed in something we’re planning or considering.
Confidence from Within Helps You "Toot Your Own Horn"
My Grandmother Gladys sold braziers. On a typical day, she would observe others and see a woman across the street walking by.

And she would run across the street to tell the woman how she needed a new bra. And how she could help.

She naturally sold to women with the intent of making their lives better and improving not only their appearance but their physical posture and sense of overall well-being.

Gladys had no problem advocating for what she sold, because she knew it was valuable.