Trump called Jewish Democrats "disloyal," or -- at best -- really dumb. The Crabs reviewed results from the Iowa corn kernel poll, and it's a tossup between Democrats and the GOP. The fourth highest Dem in the House signaled an impeachment inquiry should pop off in the very near future. Dynamo candidate Elizabeth Warren sold out a town hall in Minnesota. Shitler called for his BFF Putin and Russia to rejoin the G8. A gaggle of evil CEO loads discussed tossing bread crumbs to the working class. Faux News moaned that mainstream media is manifesting a recession by reporting on it. The adults in California passed a law limiting when the cops can shoot you to death. A school system in Texas is gonna be sued for coloring an African American student's head with a black marker. The Fireman "prophet"-for-profit is inciting violence in his religious extremist followers by saying their "God" warned him that mass arrests of Democrats better start soon or "patriots" will get violent. A Phish concert is being plagued by the plague.