Connected Families Podcast

Connected Families Podcast


What To Do When Kids Interrupt Important Conference Calls | Ep. 33

May 19, 2020

Working at home can be challenging! And exasperating. In this difficult season where many parents are juggling kids and working from home, our “new normal” is anything but normal. Parents are asking, "How do I stop kids interrupting conference calls?"

It’s hard to know how to respond to the challenges of interrupted conference calls. But this can be a great opportunity to help kids feel both loved and successful. Applying the Connected Families Framework for parenting can equip you to Connect, Coach, and Correct from a foundation of Safety. (This article is also available as an audio or video download.)

Read this article and apply what you’ve learned to experience a more peaceful conference call!

https://youtu.be/a7wsyxYjndU

What should you do first when kids interrupt an important conference call? 

Outside of the immediate challenge, it’s helpful to consider, “What’s going on in me? How do I view this? Am I responsible for having a perfect child?” 

Feeling shame and embarassment about your child’s behavior during a conference call causes you to react anxiously, which increases your child’s anxiety and neediness. It may be that a light-hearted “sorry for the delay” to participants is appropriate, but avoid the temptation to repeatedly or emphatically apologize. That’s stressful for you and your child. 

If you are expecting a certain behavior, but haven’t helped your kids both value it and practice it, it’s a setup for frustration! 

It’s also important to thoughtfully consider, “What’s it like to be my child when I get on a conference call?” 

Having an unavailable parent can be tough on kids’ anxiety levels!

Research shows that our brains release oxytocin under stressful conditions, especially in social isolation. These elevated oxytocin levels drive an urgency to get help when we feel stressed or anxious. Your child’s demands may be a sign of elevated stress levels.

In addition, up until age three or four, a child’s worldview generally revolves around himself. That child will probably not be thinking of your personal comfort during that important call for work. 

Considering all this, it doesn’t have to be perfect! Ditch those profuse apologies, take a deep breath, and remember that these are great opportunities to extend God’s grace and mercy to yourself, and to your child. 

Want to avoid kids interrupting conference calls? Be proactive.

Thoughtful and intentional connection can go a long way! Before your meeting, prepare by connecting well with your child - even if it is just three minutes. Let them know you are delighted in them. Make meaningful eye contact. Fill their cup! Enable them to be peaceful so they can head off to be independent. 

One mom, who is working from home, stated, “I have been trying to connect with my kids through short bursts of focused, joy-filled attention frequently throughout the day. It seems to be helping them to play independently for longer periods of time, which is helping me to get things done that I need to.”

It probably won’t be helpful to just tell kids not to interrupt. It may even cause more anxiety! Coach them and build skills ahead of time to demonstrate what you want them to do instead. If you are expecting a certain behavior, but haven’t helped your kids both value it and practice it, it’s a setup for frustration! 

How can you set your child up for success?

Proactive coaching goes a long way in preventing interruptions: