comedy4cast comedy podcast

comedy4cast comedy podcast


This One Stands Alone

August 24, 2021

We have to hand it to this criminal.

When a lawbreaker gets busted because something was cracked, well, it simply MUST be an Odd News story. (Run time: 3 minutes)

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Transcript:

CLINTON:Oh, hi there. Clinton here. And here's today's odd news story.

A drug dealer in Liverpool, England has been given a 13-and-a-half year sentence for his crimes. Carl Stewart had previously evaded police by using an phone to hide his identity. The so-called EncroChat phone is a highly-encrypted device, often used by criminals.

So, what ultimately lead to Stewart's capture? Did a fellow criminal rat him out? No, but you're getting warmer. That's because Stewart was done in by a block of cheese - Mature Blue Stilton to be precise.

Police had recently cracked the EncroChat phone system that Stewart was using, which lead to the arrest of hundreds of people in the UK suspected of major crimes.

But how did they nab Stewart? And what does this have to do with cheese?

The now-former drug dealer, who had been posting under the alias "toffeeforce" made the mistake of uploading a picture of a wrapped package of M&S Stilton -- showing his fingers and palm in the photo. Police were able to analyze the picture, matching the prints to those on file for Mr. Stewart.

Shortly thereafter, he was brought before the magistrate at Liverpool Crown Court, where he pleaded guilty to a number of crimes, including conspiracy to supply drugs and the transfer of criminal property.

Mr. Stewart will be out of jail in 2034. No word if the Stilton will wait for him.

But for now, that's it. We're done, done, done, done, done. Bye bye.