Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 2, 221: Holding a Marriage Together When an Adoption or Fertility Treatment Doesnt Work Out

Steps to Take to Preserve Your Marriage

Factors that have a negative impact on marital success, happiness and cohesion after the unsuccessful journey to become parents:
Grieving the loss of their dreams and expectations of having childrenstillborn births and miscarriages The blame gameThe relationship or spouse may be a reminder of childlessness.Tension / Anxiety / Stress / Depression / Social IsolationInsecurity of Fertility IssuesOne spouse wants to stop trying and the other spouse does not
 
Agree on a Plan to ParenthoodKeep your Plan to Parenthood between the two of you and agree not to consult family and friends on their thoughts or opinions.  Understand that you and your spouse may not process grief or stress in the same mannerGive grace whether or not its deserved to your spouseAgree to always communicate your feelings and emotions to each other without fear of judgementMake mutual decisions- remove the blame factorGo through the journey together, hear any news together.  If one spouse starts to struggle, be the partner you would want your spouse to be if the situation was reversed. Don’t ever use the inability to bear biological children as a weapon in an argumentRemember that this journey is leading you both to parenthood.  Your path may be longer than your neighbor’s but that only means that you will have more adventures; maybe both good and bad.