Birth Mother Matters in Adoption #74: Finding Peace in Uncharted Waters; Reaching the Acceptance Stage

To date all of us are surrounded by uncharted territory, learning to navigate and forage new paths, create a new lifestyle, then the one we were previously used to.  Whether we considered ourselves happy, fulfilled, living a life of joy or even the life we wanted to be living, we were familiar with it, it was comfortable, routine, and few of us like change.  COVID-19 has bought us almost nothing but change, fear and grief.  This can in some instances parallel some situations in the adoption process for both the birth mother and/or the adoptive family.  The Kübler-Ross model of grief teaches us that the 5 stages of grief entail the following:
DenialAngerBargainingDepressionAcceptance
For a Birth Mother:
When a birth mother feels like her family and friends do not support her adoption choice.When a birth mother struggles with her adoption choice after placing her baby for adoption.When a birth mother feels like the adoptive family she chose is not following through with their agreed upon Post Adoption Communication Agreement.
For an Adoptive Family:
When a birth mother does not choose them to be the adoptive family for her baby.When a birth mother changes her mind causing a disruption in an adoption match between her and an adoptive family.When an adoptive family feels like a birth mother is not following through with their agreed upon Post Adoption Communication Agreement.
Whether we are grieving over the Coronavirus Pandemic or an unfortunate adoption experience, grief is still grief.  The stages of grief are vital to learning to live again and find the joy in life.