Oliver and Rich discuss Rock Club, dodgy DJs, bad teachers, and the Comic Sans of the chattering classes. Oliver buys a cheap house off a woman in a Portakabin, while Rich activates the Potter's Wheel protocol.

Oliver and Rich discuss Oliver's book 'Zander'. Meanwhile, Melvyn Bragg is on holiday.

Oliver and Rich discuss mint cake, crampons and the Baader–Meinhof Gang. Along the way, Oliver commits an act of vandalism in a newsagents' car park, and Rich and his friends do a spot of crowd control at a royal wedding.

Oliver and Rich discuss schools, pies, emergency brandy and Oliver's repetitive eating habits. Oliver explains why some people do German and others do French, and Rich has a horrific story about mouthpieces.